Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween-And a Warning to Hawkeye Fans

I just received this from a reader. Those at the game this weekend just need to be cautious.


*IOWA CITY** - *Fans planning to attend the Iowa-Illinois football game are being warned about a shooting threat in Champaign-Urbana for Friday night.

The University of Iowa and University of Illinois Departments of Public Safety are advising Iowa football fans attending the game in Champaign-Urbana, Ill. this weekend about a notice issued by University of Illinois police regarding a threat:

“The University of Illinois Police Department is investigating a threat made in a note found at the Undergraduate Library. A library patron found the note on Sunday (Oct. 5) at about 11:30 a.m. in a men's restroom. The note threatened that on Halloween night (Oct. 31), the suspect intends to shoot a person on Green Street.

“A multi-jurisdictional team has been established to assess and investigate the threat. Members of this investigative effort include the Champaign Police Department, the Champaign County Sheriff's Office, the Champaign County State's Attorney's Office, the University of Illinois Police Department and the Urbana Police Department. The Federal Bureau of Investigation also is assisting.

“Police are requesting the community's assistance in locating the suspect who communicated this threat. Community members with information regarding this threat can contact the University of Illinois Police Department at 217-333-1216. Citizens also may anonymously contact Crime Stoppers by calling 217-373-8477, by submitting anonymous tips online at or by texting Tip397 plus the relevant information to 274637 (CRIMES).”

The University of Iowa has been in touch with University of Illinois police, who are treating the threat seriously and taking necessary precautions. The University of Iowa is providing the information to Hawkeye fans and others who plan to visit Champaign-Urbana this weekend to inform them of the threat and urge them to use their best judgment when visiting the area.

Police say they do not expect any incidents at the game Nov. 1 in connection with this threat.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Coverage Maps

It looks like everyone can get the Iowa/Illinois game whether it be on ABC or ESPN.

We have also been guaranteed a national TV spot for the Penn State game. The blackout hasn't worked so let's not do that again.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Getting Your Greene On

Getting Your Greene On

Some have wondered where the posts have been this week? My response-if you get on this site every 2 hours looking for a post-you have no life. Some of us have jobs, families, and kids that require just a little more attention than living online. Anyway, I digress.

In case you have lived in a hole over the past few weeks, you know that the Hawks have new life and a bright outlook for the last leg of the season. A day off today helps us rest for the Illinois game next week (3:30 EST on ABC or ESPN). Shonn Greene has received a lot of Heisman hype and rightfully so. How many more great games does he need to prove he is one of the best, if not the best, running back in the nation? Can the national media just put his stats next to Ringer’s for one lousy second and see that there is no comparison?

We need to get a Hawk back on the Heisman finalist list. There is an ESPN poll out now that lists about 20 top candidates and Shonn Greene is in the middle of that pack. Many experts now put Greene as high as #5 on the list. Hawk fans-go to this link and vote. If you are a Facebook fan, there is a group called “Get Your Greene On” that is worth taking a look at. There is even talk of having a “Greene Out” for the Penn State game. I wonder what Kinnick would look like in all green. We need to show those large media markets of the west and east where real talent is. Click on the link below to vote.

ESPN Heisman Vote

Enjoy the day off. Personally, I hope that Penn State beats Ohio State today. That will bring a heck of a lot of attention to the Iowa game (assuming Iowa beats Illinois). Who knows, maybe Corso and the gang may pay us a visit again? Or maybe we get a primetime slot with that Hawkeye hating Brent Musburger. Wouldn’t it be nice to throw is hind parts out of Iowa City after knocking off a potential #1 team in the country?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Fun On Our Week Off

A reader sent this link in. It is a quiz: "What Big 10 school are you"? If you read carefully, you can figure out how to score Iowa on it. If anyone tests out to be of Michigan or Ohio State background, then feel free to leave this blog and never come back you heathen scum.

"What Big 10 School are You?

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Shonn (Insert Your Own Adjective Here) Greene

It's still the 4th quarter-Greene just scored again-and I think we can "Put this one on the boaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees"!

How incredible is this guy? He puts the team on his back and ran all over Wisconsin today. Greene has made the Hawkeye Nation believe again and he has NFL scouts looking at Iowa City for talent once again.

For the second week in a row, we can't help but wonder where we would be if we didn't give those 3 losses away. At this point, we are 5-3 and 2 wins away from being bowl eligible. Although 8-9 wins would be a lot better-7 will surpass what experts picked for us this year. They way we have been playing, we could get 8 or 9. A finish like this would put us on the radar for next year for sure.

For now we look ahead to Illinois. A win here would put us in the drivers seat for a big finish. A win against the Illini would fire everyone up just in time for Penn State's arrival in Iowa City.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Camp Randall Stadium Sucks!

I know the game will take place at the friendly confines of Kinnick Stadium, but a few interesting points would like to be made about that giant tampon of a football stadium in Madison.

Locker Rooms-
During the renovations of Camp Randall a few years back, the visitors locker room was originally painted pink…..sound familiar? Did Barry Alvarez try to implement the Psychological maneuver of the legendary Hayden Fry? Well the political correct-mama’s boys up in Madison decided that would be too offensive. Heck, what don’t they consider offensive? chewing gum in line?? (Another reference to Blazing Saddles). Well those pansies decided to paint it blue-prison blue that is. They painted the visitors locker room the same color as the state prison. The dark blue made for a “calming effect”. Well boys, I do believe that a certain team from a certain “Country of God” went in there in 2005 and took you to the woodshed. Some calming effect that was- UW claims that the dark blue would make people feel like they are in prison. If you want the prison effect, just walk around campus to feel that way. Maybe they should have painted the locker room red?

The Fifth Quarter-
This is a prime example of why any Wisconsin Badger fan can not tell their arse from second base. These are the same people that say there are 3 quarters in hockey, 2 quarters in college basketball, and 2 halves in football. During this imaginary extra period of play for fans and the band, they play a song “It’s Hard to be Humble”. By now Badger fans, you should have the song and the humility down pat.

The Wave-
This time honored tradition of boredom fits in perfectly at Wisconsin. Time for a little logic: If A=B and B=C, then A=C. If Wisconsin football (A) equals performing the traditional wave (B), and performing the traditional wave (B) is done because of boredom (C), then Wisconsin football must be extremely boring. If the Badger fans can’t figure this out, then how on God’s green earth should we trust them with building a bridge or cutting us open on the operating table??

Jump Around-
Fans jump around like ACDC or the Stones are in town. In 2003, students protested because they were told that this activity would create structural instability in the stadium and could not continue. Officials realized this wasn’t true, and the tradition was back in place. Badger fans, Hawkeye fans don’t need to dance around like fairies to get excited; we use our hands and our mouths. When we get excited, we may chomp on 4th down, shout a mighty I-O-W-A after a touchdown, or yell very rude and crude things to opposing players on the sidelines (which would never take place in Mr. Rodgers Madison Neighborhood). When we get angry, we have the B-S chant to fall back on. When we win, we sing-“In Heaven There Is No Beer”. So there is no sense in dancing and jumping around. I doubt you are all Pentecostal up there.

This is just a little food for thought on this Thursday night. It is time to settle in for the evening and enjoy a college football game and an episode of “The Office”. Those pregnant women out there (and their husbands) could learn a lot from Michael Scott and his birthing situation coach Dwight Schrute tonight.

Go Hawks!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

2 More Reasons to Love "Blazing Saddles"

1) Alex Karras who plays Mongo-Iowa Hawkeye

2) Gene Wilder-Jim the Drunk-1955 Iowa Grad

Enough said?

Monday, October 13, 2008

One Reason to Hate Wisconsin-Politcal Correctness

The GHN likes to be original, but this story was sent courtesy of the Texas Hold Em Blogger -- Great blog by the way.

It details a sad sad story from the University of Wisconsin involving Political Correctness (which we are dead set against) and the movie "Blazing Saddles" (classic-possibly the best of all time". Here it goes:

"The PC Nazis at the University of Communism Wisconsin in the People’s Republic of Madison — 58 square miles surrounded by reality — have apologized to a student offended by the showing of a clip of Blazing Saddles in a class.

MADISON, Wis. - The University of Wisconsin has apologized to a black student who during a class last year was shown a clip of the movie “Blazing Saddles” that features racial epithets. During a seminar for working professionals, an instructor showed a scene of the 1974 comedy in which blacks are shown working on a railroad, according to a complaint filed by the student. Whites call the workers racial epithets and an overseer orders them to sing like slaves. The student complained and the school’s Office of Equity and Diversity, which investigates racial discrimination, got involved. That prompted an apology in March from the Department of Professional Development and Applied Studies, which offered the course."

Here’s the clip in question. Anyone who doesn’t think this is funny has no sense of humor and seriously needs to develop one. The comic performances by Cleavon Little, Slim Pickens and Burton Gilliam are brilliant:

The student in question needs to develop a sense of humor and some thicker skin or he/she will be in for a rough life. Of course, in President Obama’s America, the professor who used the clip will be arrested and prosecuted under federal hate speech laws."

This is sad, just sad. Frickin Wisconsin. What's next?? Can I go to the Office of Equity and Diversity and say that I am offended that there aren't more white boys on the basketball team? Can I go to my boss and complain that I am called "white" and not "Caucasian"? What a load of crap. I am tired of the Political Correctness crap. There are lines that shouldn't be crossed, I agree. Women-you complain that going to Hooters is offensive, yet you'll take your husbands/boyfriends/kids to the beach where ladies wear far less than at that famous chain restaurant. If you ask Mel Brooks-he will be the first to say THIS MOVIE WAS NOT MADE TO BE RACIST-BUT TO POKE FUN AT THE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS CRAP GOING ON IN AMERICA. This was the 1970s.

God Bless Iowa-where we can speak our mind and say whatever we choose. We can honk at someone and not worry about getting shot. I had a coach once say, "Never apologize for something you meant to say. Honesty is what everyone expects and respects out of people. If you are being honest, there's nothing to be apologetic about". I would love to find a Hawk fan who doesn't chuckle at some point in this movie. If you can't even laugh during the fart scene, then you are welcome to move to Michigan. Hey student-why don't you ask everyone from Kansas City if they are offended? How about asking ABC if they are offended that the "Wide Wide World of Sports" people are offended being a part of this? How about we sue the railroad track company because their product could not withstand the ground conditions? Did the guy truly deserve to die for chewing gum in line? ..ok I am rambling now.

The student in question has the right to raise his/her objections to this video clip. I have the right (1st Amendment for our foreign friends) to offer this student and the Wisconsin Office of Equity and Diversity a nice warm glass of shut the heck up. I also have the right to tell these hippies (in the voice of Paul Sr. of American Choppers) that if this keeps up, I'm going to take my size 12 and kick some butt".

Go Hawks!

Sunday, October 12, 2008


My first question is: Where has the Hawkeye team been the last 3 weeks? I know Indiana is not that good, but seriously, seeing them yesterday made me cringe at the last 3 losses.

We have 5 games left and we need to win at least 3 of them to get to a bowl. A win against the Badgers will help a lot. We get the better opponents at home (which scares me for next year). We'll start picking on and apart the Badgers tomorrow. Until then, enjoy the win and start looking ahead to the week.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Win Or Throw In The Towel??

This game is a season breaker for us. There is no doubt that a loss here will send the Hawkeye Nation into a tailspin. A win would at least get us looking ahead with smoe optimism. There really isn't much to say, other then that we must win tomorrow. Our running game has been our catalyst and will be tomorrow. Stanzi must maintain steady play and not commit careless turnovers--especially in the red zone. Our defense has been relatively decent-but could always improve.

We'll see tomorrow if we have any fuel in the tank for the reston of the year.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Notre Lame and Random Indiana Ramblings

The GNB writers are still in partial letdown mode after last weekend. We know it will be hard to pick on the Hooisers this week for 2 main reasons: 1) Their coach just passed away last year-and from what we know he was a class act of a man and died in a way no one would ever wish on anyone, and 2) Indiana sits in the cellar with our Hawks so there isn't much "downward" looking this week. We'll still poke fun at the university itself (note picture above) and give our fearless predictions this week. Anyone who has ever attended an Indiana football game knows that the opposing teams fans can outnumber Hoosier fans. To shamelessly throw the screwing in the lightbulb joke-at Indiana it takes nine. One to screw it in, and eight to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season. Football is not priority at Indiana. Shoot, high school basketball attracts bigger crowds. Academics, basketball, and driving Bob Knight insane are the focal points. To practice humility, I know that our success rate against Indiana has not been good in the past few years. That being said, let's take a few minutes to rag on that other school in Indiana that we all hate: Notre Dame.

What non-Catholic, Big 10 fan does not hate this school? They are the Michigan of the Independent Conference (which isn't an actual conference). As the video truthfully states, they always seem to find their way into the top of the college football rankings at the beginning of the year-even with a horrible season prior. When they have their 1 good season, ND's praises are sang throughout the land. Speaking of their 1 good season-wasn't the Ohio State/Notre Dame Fiesta Bowl of few years ago the most pathetically broadcasted game in the history of college football? How many times did that Hawkeye Bashing Brent Musburger (we are convinced he loves every team around except Iowa) inform us of the connection between AJ Hawk and Brady Quinn? I think I saw more of the girlfriend/sister than the actual game. They have their own contract with NBC which is ridiculous all by itself. It seems like Michigan gets an equal amount of air time on ESPN/ABC even when they are next to worthless this year. From what I read, the only good things to come out of South Bend are he solar-powered flashlight, dehydrated water, and fireproof matches. Whoever thought we'd see a season where we wished we could have played Michigan and Notre Dame?

The GNB writers have been paroosing the Fire Kirk Ferentz Blog over the past few days (which we are officially withholding judgement on KF until Saturday) but we see a potential connection with Notre Dame. If in fact KF has seen his better days in Iowa City, would Gary Barta make a play for Skip Holtz? Again, we are not against Ferentz at this point, but it was something that crossed our minds when talking about Notre Dame.

This is a big weekend for the Hawks. Everyone knows the schedule gets harder and every win counts at this point. We are trying to stay positive but know that a loss this week could put a Titanic sized hole in our season. Take a minute to vote for the most inspirational high school sports movie on the sidebar. For those that are wondering, when basketball starts up, we'll cover that as well.

By request: Throwing a shout out to our friends at the Highlander in Iowa City-
Go Hawks!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I have a dream that one day this Hawkeye nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “Fight, Fight, Fight for Iowa”.

I have a dream that one day on the Iowa River, the sons of former City High Little Hawks and the sons of former West High Trojans will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the city of Columbus, a city sweltering with the heat of ignorance, sweltering with the heat of mediocrity, will be transformed into an oasis of black and gold.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by standardized test scores, but by knowing the words to “In Heaven There Is No Beer”.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, up in Ann Arbor, with its yuppies, with its governor who has the worst unemployment in the nation -- one day right there in West Lafayette little Wolverine boys and Wolverine girls will be able to join hands with little Boilermaker boys and Boilermaker girls and realize that they collectively suck.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day Pagliai’s will become a national pizza chain, and the Lark Supper Club will be famous again, Iowa City, Coralville, and Cedar Rapids will never flood again, and Herky will win the Capital One Mascot Challenge" and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it how great the Hawks can be."²

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the Bloomington with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the despair of a Big 10 losing streak into a stone of hope for a 7 win season and a bowl bid. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our Hawkeye Nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to cheer together, to stand up for Stanzi, knowing that we will be BCS contenders again one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of Herky’s children will be able to sing with new meaning:
In Heaven there is no beer
(No beer?!)
That's why we drink it here
And when we're all gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.

And if we are to become a great Hawkeye Nation-this must become true.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

Mentally We Are 6-0

I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was sitting in front of the TV watching Iowa and MSU. I knew the game was close and a field goal may tie or win the game. All of a sudden, the camera flashed to Mossbrucker-who may get comparisons to Nate Kaeding someday, sitting on the bench on a 4th and 1 from inside the 25.

Then my dreams flashed to a 1st and goal from the 8. A TD would win the game for the mighty Hawks. With the 6th best RB in the country in the backfield, I keep getting these nightmares of 4 straight passes to the endzone??

Then my crazy dream flashes to a missed field goal-ironically in the same place the Steelers play. The camera again flashes to Mossbrucker on the bench.

I woke up in a panic. I rolled over and asked my wife if all of this was a dream-she said, "No honey, your suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder". Yes friends, mentally we are 6-0 but the reality is far from that.

A co-contributor is working on his "Hawkeye Nation I Have a Dream" speech that should be out tomorrow or Tuesday. Reading the early exerpts makes me think it may be the best post EVER! Our buddies at Fire Kirk Ferentz Now seem to be having great success. We will try and poke in on what they are doing from time to time. We here at GHN will officially withhold our opinions on KF's employment until after the Indiana game-which you'll be seeing more of this week.

I appreciate a response I read talking of how we need to stop this "Poor Us" mentality and start expecting more from this team. When Florida lost to Ole Miss, no Gator fan went around feeling sorry for themselves, the players, coaches, or their season. No one said, "There's always next season, our guys tried their best". NO-They were TICKED because their title hopes may have went out the window. If we are going to make excuses for why mediocrity is ok, then that's what we will get. When we start demanding more, we'll get more. As parents, when we expect our kids to achieve, usually they do. When the worthless parents don't care about their kids and what they do, usually they don't perform well or succeed. Personally I like the fire that Fire Kirk Ferentz Now has started. Hawk fans are trying to make a statement-not about hating anyone personally-but showing that they expect more.

Get some rest Hawkeye Nation. We have been through a lot. I can't help but think if just a little cowbell might help us?? Any ideas should be considered at this point.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

MSU Let Down

Classic 2008 Iowa Football was on display again today. Yes, the Hawkeye Nation is depressed, disgusted, and frustrated. A friend of mine sent me this video the other day. It relates to the Pitt game, but could be used for this one too. The video is slightly inappropriate and in no way do we intend on offending anyone or any group of people by showing this:

Iowa Video

I received another link that I will put on the sidebar of this blog:

It's easy to see how the writers of this blog feel about the situation at hand. We gave away another one. Stanzi goofs twice in the redzone and Ferentz goes for it twice when field goals were better options-thus winning the game. We should be 6-0 but left wondering how? why? and what?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Michigan State Outlook

Right now, the mighty Hawks should be wading through the swamp of East Lansing. It should be a great game tomorrow. I am glad that ESPN2 decided to broadcast this game. I know that they are paying more attention to MSU (primarily Javon Ringer) than the Hawks. This is a good time to show the country that we are not dead-completely. Iowa’s run defense will be one of the best that Ringer has seen. Most of the points we have allowed have been through the air (whether thrown by us or them). On paper, we are a lot better of a match-up than most give us credit for.

Even though we gave the Northwestern game away, there is still hope for our mighty Hawks. It turns out that Pitt may not be such a bad team after all (they beat a ranked S. Florida team in Tampa last night). We can play well on the road. If we limit the turnovers, if Stanzi can have a decent day, then we should give ourselves a chance to win. I see there was a pro-MSU post on the blog a few days ago. We would like to thank Captain Obvious for stating what us Hawk fans already know-and we know that East Lansing serves only the cheapest, bland, bottom feeding beer around so no thanks to the invite. We have had many good seasons where we lose 2 games early on. *NOTE-if we do happen to lose tomorrow, all of the above mentioned excitement will most likely be thrown out the window.

Thanks to all the readers who have made the first week of this blog a success. It is good to see the Hawkeye Nation spread over all parts of the world. Tune in tomorrow-ESPN2-11:00 AM CST/12:00 AM China time. For those reading in the war zones-God Bless-stay safe-and hopefully you can catch a little part of the game on TV, radio, or the Internet. Hopefully the mood around the Hawkeye Nation will be a little more positive after tomorrow’s game than last Saturday’s. We'll be back tomorrow evening with a wrap up so look for it.


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Anti-Michigan University Day

There isn’t a place on this earth that is worse than walking on a Michigan University cesspool (a.k.a. campus). Anyone who has attended the Big House knows of the Arse Clown Crossing Guard that sits out front of Michigan stadium and tries to misguide fans of the opposing team and hurls stupid insults at them. The Michigan State campus is about as sleazy and redneck as that of the public university located in Ames.

A state funded university is a direct reflection on the state itself (we acknowledge the small redneck population in Iowa-they are just all centrally located in Ames). Michigan has 5 Division 1 schools and many smaller colleges and universities. Let’s examine each university and their distinct connection to the state known as Canada South.

Eastern, Central, and Western Michigan-We put these 3 schools together because they pretty much suck at everything. You can regularly find these football programs on ESPN’s bottom 10 list. They are commonly referred to as “Directional Michigan”. EMU is in a crap hole known as Ypsilanti (pronounced Ipsilanti). Driving through there will eventually lead to that 8 mile stretch of road in Detroit-about the worst place in America. WMU is in Kalamazoo. K-Zoo, as the locals refer to it, can be compared to your local salvage yard or city dump. WMU ruined our bowl chances last year and we just hate them now. Now to CMU’s credit, they have a flashy quarterback and some semi-decent athletes who have made it to the professional level in various sports. CMU is located in Mount Pleasant (much worse than Mount Pleasant, Iowa). My top two worthless college towns would include Stillwater, OK and Mount Pleasant, MI. The big draw to go to CMU is the Indian casino that is nearby. So let’s summarize: suck, suck, and gambling. Now we look to the more popular Michigan universities.

I assume you have a better chance of being struck by lightening then finding a Hawkeye fan who doesn’t hate Michigan with all of his or her guts. Ann Arbor represents all that is wrong with America. When you enter this locale, you are greeted by uppity, rude, proud, conceited students who think that a Michigan diploma will get them somewhere in life. Want to tick off a Michigan student? Tell him or her A) Starbucks or Panera Bread closed, B) Someone stole their Wall Street Journal, C) make spill ketchup on their $300 outfit, or D) let their air out of their BMW. A diploma from Michigan is about as good as the 2-ply I have in my bathroom. Michigan graduates, enjoy finding a job around there. Michigan has the worst unemployment rate in the country. Of course you don’t care, your from Michigan and that means the world right? In the midst of our turbulent season, I have enjoyed seeing the misery on the faces of the Wolverine fans. You can tell they have nothing more to live for. I root for the little guy and I love seeing the big dogs get knocked down from time to time. That being said, if Michigan spent, oh I don’t know, the next 80+ years as bottom feeders in our conference, it wouldn’t break my heart. So our one word summary: arrogant.

Last but not least, Michigan State-our opponent this weekend. Contrary to the above mentioned school, I’d be hard pressed to find a Hawk fan who hates MSU more than UM. East Lansing truly divides the state into 2 parts. The western side in all honesty is a fairly scenic (except K-Zoo) and the Eastern side which is scenic as well-ghetto scenic that is. When you clash the clean cut areas of Grand Rapids and Grand Haven with the ghetto trifecta of Detroit, Flint, and Saginaw, you have East Lansing, MI. MSU fans really get me. You never hear from them unless their team is doing well. I haven’t read this much from MSU fans for about 5 years now. They start off well and they all have to talk about it. When they stink-like usual-they just fall back on their basketball team, or the Pistons. Word to sum up MSU: well you decide this one.

Now that you are educated on all the great things coming out of the Michigan universities, you can have a greater appreciation for why Hawkeye fans do not like them. Going through this very in-depth study gives me more of an appreciation for being a Hawkeye fan-and a part of the University of Iowa. We still tailgate and support our team during the hard times. We fill Dolphins stadium about 70% with Hawkeye fans. We are proud of our traditions. We pride ourselves on the backbone of our economy-the farmers. We hold the door open for people because it’s nice and not that hard to do. A cup of coffee from Casey’s will do just fine. A burger from the Hamburg Inn or a pizza from Pagliai’s beats any chain restaurant on any day. You may not play or follow golf, but you know who Zach Johnson is and you are darn proud of him. College students bike to class or take the Cambus-no need for BMW’s down at the Ped Mall.

MSU game outlook tomorrow-Enjoy the debates!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sparty: Behind the Dress

We all know our beloved Herky is the best mascot there is. When we travel to play a game or welcome a team to Iowa City, we need not only to study the opposing team, but the opposing mascot as well. On our little post today, we will examine what is going though Sparty's head in each of these pictures-much to the David Letterman routine. The picture to the left is self explanatory. For those who are not familiar with the Cedar Rapids (flooded) establishment of the Happy Hour Health Spa-Google it.

Picture #1 Did Sparty:
A) Drop the kid?
B) Threaten to eat the kid? or
c) Claim to be the kid's father?

Picture #2 Sparty is:
A) Couples skating?
B) Trying to look under her skirt? or
C) Getting it on with the best MSU sororities have to offer?

Picture #3 Sparty is:
A) Throwing a party?
B) In the Middle East? or
C) Mistaking the Breslin Center for Chrysler Arena?

Picture #4 Herky eventually puts Sparty's flag:
A) Out on Melrose Ave?
B) At The Field House?
C) In the Iowa River?

Picture #5 Sparty is:
A) Break dancing?
B) Getting a cheap laugh?
C) Trying to get Herky's size 25 shoe out of his hind parts?

If you head to East Lansing this weekend, please stay away from this extra terrestrial being. There's nothing more Michigan than a manly mascot with a dress. I know Sparty has Greek roots but I am not sure what about East Lansing, Michigan says Greek". If you do get close to Sparty, have some fun with him. Put a sign on his back, kick him around, or accidentally spill your beer on him. If you mess with him, take pictures and submit to us ( We'll be happy to post.

Tune in tomorrow for Anti-Michigan University Day.